Pretty...

Hello There!

There is something that has bothered me for years.

I have begun to do better, and encouraged others to change their ways.

This is it...

Why do people almost always compliment little girls on their appearance first?

Little girls are held to a higher standard in regard to their appearance and little boys are held to a very low standard regarding their behavior.

This baffles me.

I know you've heard it, probably even done it.  What's the first thing most people say to a little girl?

"You're so pretty!"

"Your dress is so pretty!"

Why not compliment how compassionate & respectful she is because you just witnessed her let an older person get on the elevator first?

Brave because you see the band-aid on her arm from a doctor visit?

Smart...maybe she has a book in her hand!

Funny...did she just tell the best joke you've heard all week?

Creative...does she have an ornate hairstyle?  Or an outfit you would have never thought to put together?

Did she just lead her younger siblings into the building while Mom gets the baby and locks the car?  Compliment her leadership skills!

There are sooooo many things a little girl can be before you tell her she's pretty.

Who defines 'pretty?'  Isn't it a subjective term?  The definition depends on who's asking.

I am the proud Mom to two young teen girls.  They do not dress the way I do.  They do not wear make up every day like I do.  And, that's perfectly okay!  When they look in the mirror every morning, they are happy.  And that makes me happy.

I recently had someone tell me about a friend's teen daughter who doesn't like to wear makeup.  Who mandates that teen girls have to wear makeup?  Guess what?  It's okay if she never visits a beauty counter at the department store in her life!  (I actually questioned the motive behind the mother who tried to force her to wear makeup...my thoughts were not well received.  The other adults in the conversation looked at me as if I had leprosy.)

What gives?  If a girl doesn't want to wear a dress, or makeup, or curl her hair, or straighten her hair... what difference does it make?

NONE.

Again, if she loves what she sees when she looks in her mirror?  Mission: Accomplished.

The adults in our American society desperately need to adjust their way of thinking.

 We can and should and MUST do better.

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